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Joke of the Day
"Me: I want a... Debit card: Nope. Me: Ok. Just making sure."
Next Joke
"When I was young I would go and throw rocks at the man doing Taekwondo in the park I would always get a huge kick out of it"
"A black guy and a Mexican are riding a car. Who's driving? The police"
"Sex is a lot like pizza... Even when it's bad, you still have to pay for it."
"When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human."
"That dress looks great on you, but it would look even better on my floor. *buys identical dress, throws it on the ground*"
"The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she's just found my twitter account"
"Ukrainian underpants Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants? Because Chernobyl fall out"
"How to insult an elder in the museum. Say ""I would shake your hand, but the sign says ""Do not touch the artifacts.""""."
"Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss"