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Joke of the Day
"Reasons to jump: 1. Trampoline 2. Skydiving 3. Bungee jumping 4. Kris Kross made you"
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"What do you call a rich male redhead? A Gingerbread Man. I'll just close the door behind me..."
"TIL the shorter urinals aren't for kids. They're for black dudes that need room to dangle."
"[talks about how badass wolves are for 20 mins] date: can we talk about something else? [pulls out powerpoint on why wolves are badass] No"
"Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn't have in her purse Her boyfriend's phone number"
"Non-tweeting friend: ""So it's like FB?"" Me: ""Except everyone's mean & sarcastic & brutally honest."" ""Sounds awf..."" ""Awesome. I know."""
"What have pancakes and children in commen If they're black, they're ruind"
"Islam is a religion of piece. There's a piece of you over there, a piece over there, another over there.."
"What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream? Are you surebert?"
"How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox? It couldn't contain itself."