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Joke of the Day

"Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Scientists are coming closer to unlocking the secret to why the average American owns 40 pairs of jeans but only wears 3 or 4 of them."

"What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi? i let women know that i have a jacuzzi"

"""Damn girl, you look hot"" Really? ""Like a sexy little italian car"" DID YOU JUST CALL ME FIAT?!?"

"I tried to catch the essence of American football It's like you got a pretty big can of cold beer and on the other side of field your best buddy dying from hangover"

"What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? ""Hey, this looks new!"""

"Feminism thats the joke"

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."

"opinion - 3.14 = onion"