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Joke of the Day

"The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices."

"You know, that Poisson distribution is really strange. It's just not Normal."

"There's a special place in Hell for those women who say ""Awwww"" after everything they hear."

"WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? R, C, I and P are all pretty much equal"

"Tripods with two legs I can't stand them."

"Eggs and Toast walk into a bar And the bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""

"A buddhist monk is watching TV Another monks come in and says, ""What are you watching?"" The monk replies, ""Nothing."""

"My successful pancake business was recently shut down Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot"

"COP 1: whys there a dead scuba diver in the forest?? COP 2: easy...he was in the water they drop on forest fires WEIRD SERIAL KILLER: no no NO"