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Joke of the Day

"I was created in a gas station. I was an in-petro fertilization baby."

"I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe."

"Blonde Jokes What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red? Selling her soul for intelligence"

"Why is the Force like duct tape? It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together."

"Did you hear about that guy who said 'that's' like 'dat's'? Instead of saying that's mine, he said dat's mine."

"What did the comedian do when his joke did not go home with the audience? He became a boxer and delivered a strong punchline."

"I used to work in a helium factory... But I left, because I didn't like the way they spoke to me... [Read the second part with a helium voice.]"

"As a kid I could never understand why my mother would not let me play near the train tracks across the street from my house. Then it hit me."

"I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy."

"Babies are very like governments, you know. Constant appetite at one end, constant mess at the other. And they only ever get bigger."