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Joke of the Day

"Watched Michael phelps, paragon of athleticism, win a 4th gold medal in a row while I ate a comically large mole-drenched Mexican sandwich"

"While it may be physically possible to have a baby after 40, forty children are probably enough."

"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? (NSFW) He forgot to wrap his Whopper!!"

"Me texting friend: Hey! What's up? Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling* Me: I am so glad I didn't ask ""how's it hanging"""

"There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!"

"Sometimes my sense of humour is so dark... ... It picks cotton"

"Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!"

"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef strokinoff"

"My scale is broken. It only seems to go up."