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Joke of the Day

"Ok, milk... Check! Potato salad... Check! Tomatoes... Check! ""Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"""

"You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower."

"What's your favorite clock time? Personally, I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down."

"*Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*"

"And Grandmother, what big thighs you have! *Wolf just starts crying*"

"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."

"Q) What's worse than raining buckets? A) Hailing taxis!"

"Patient ""Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places"" Doctor ""Well don't go to those places."""

"I win most of my staring contests... ... because my opponents usually don't know they're playing."

"'Noah' plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN."