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Joke of the Day

"I'm sleeping in this morning. Bladder: MUHAHAHAHA!!"

"Am I...are we... is this a date? *elevator opens & he leaves*"

"What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking? Michael"

"The doctor had to remove my fungal infection. It's a shame. It was really starting to grow on me."

"whats 72?? Q: What's 72? A: 69 with three people watching."

"Whoever said ""only the good die young"" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class."

"Tom Brady is a clever mastermind He learned from another great American hero named Tom and convinced Bill Belichick to whitewash his offenses."

"Hey I really like you. I wanted to know if you'd like to gradually grow to despise each other over the next 4-5 years."

"What is better than Porn? HD Porn"

"Can you just bear with me for a moment? *grabs salmon out of stream. bites head off. hibernates.*"