20853

Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my whiskey....... Age 12 and all mixed up in coke."

"The completely inane bullshit I read on my phone doesn't deserve the super intense face I make while staring at it."

"Oh, you have dignity? Well I have nachos. I win."

"Watching a Kristin Stewart movie. She's being CHASED by ppl who want her DEAD. The CHEESE STICK I'm holding has a more frightened expression"

"If you are here - who is running hell?"

"Working front desk at Motel 6 wasn't paying the bills so I started dealing meth to the housekeepers. It was an Inn side job."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"Have you heard of the new fishing net technology that is 300% more effective? cod damn it"

"There were two flies sitting on a toilet seat... one got pissed off."

"the (please) fresh (lead) deli (me) sandwiches (into) at (woods) Walgreens (and) are (shoot) actually (me) pretty (in) good (head)"