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Joke of the Day
"Who makes a drinking sound like this *makes drinking sound*? GEORGE GRASHINGTON!"
Next Joke
"A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm. ""do you make fish cakes?"" ""Yes we do"" replies the fishmonger... ""Great"" says the man, it's his birthday"""
"Roses are red... Grass is greener When I think of you I play with my wiener"
"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"
"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find their mom? Because she is Trans-parent! (Not hate. Just a pun I thought of.)"
"What's the difference between James Dean and Jimmy Dean? Jimmy Dean is sausage in the skillet, James Dean was hamburger on the road."
"If a road runs parallel to a river, there's probably a bridge nearby. No reason to cross five lanes of traffic, Frogger, you dumbshit."
"I feel melancoll, meloncholl, melancholl, meloncholy, you know what, I'm good."
"An interesting fact about owls. Their heads can rotate up to 360 degrees before it comes off in your hand."
"How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist? Ask them what 'unsigned' means."