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Joke of the Day

"This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents."

"ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting... Cause I just bombed this physics test."

"Why is it when a house is haunted it's always a ghost from the 1700's? Imagine it being a ghost from 2007 screaming ""It's Britney Bitch"" at 3am"

"I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history."

"""Honey, can you bring me a roll of toilet paper?"" Toilet paper- ""I have a boyfriend"""

"The cancelled marathon runners should seriously run through the boroughs with supplies. I said it earlier as a joke, now I say it for real."

"Been a while since I've gone on Spring Break. How many wet T-shirts should I pack?"

"I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it. I'm down."

"I made this joke up in my sleep... seriously. What does a bird say when he enters Nofrills? ""Cheap, Cheap, Cheap..."""

"How'd the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."