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Joke of the Day

"FARMER: you ok man? ME (from inside a well I fell into 3 days ago): all is well lol FARMER: lol ME: seriously though I think I broke my leg"

"What did Cinderella say when say got to the ball? *choking sound*"

"MONDAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY A GENEROUS GRANT FROM THE FUCK THIS SHIT FOUNDATION"

"That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I've ever had. Thanks for asking me to sleep with you! Huh. You look upset."

"Breathing heavily, she asked me what I can give her. Me: ""I'll give you a hint, it starts with a D"" Her: ""Oh yess, I can't wait!"" Me: ""That's right, get ready for some disappointment!"""

"The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild."

"A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats."

"Why is ISIS so good at sports? Even in high-intensity games they always manage to execute"

"My wife said ""I bet you can't go a whole day without telling a period joke.""I said ""You're on."""

"To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, ""Guess how many fingers."""