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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a red headed baker? A ginger bread man"

"HATE when this happens: Get in Bed. Get perfectly comfortable. Suddenly must pee."

"Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut? They didn't like the barbershop Cortez."

"Just saw a dog with three legs. He did have a fourth leg, but he also had three legs."

"Oh you're a jogger? Good for you. I just burned 3000 calories in under 30 minutes. Can't believe I forgot that pizza was in the oven."

"I want to pass away peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandpa did. Not screaming in a car crash like the passengers in his car."

"I'm think about taking up Jousting so I have something to talk about at awkward dinner parties."

"I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: ""I miss Detroit"" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, ""Hope this helps."""

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with"

"What would happen if black widow spiders were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to the hospital."