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Joke of the Day
"Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me?"
Next Joke
"Her: You're a pathological liar! Me: ...and the King of Spain."
"How are skinny jeans like a small mansion? They have no ball room."
"It was karaoke night. My friend chose to sing, ""We Are Young"". He sung it horribly. So I told him, ""You're no fun."" I'll show myself out."
"You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands... For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry."
"I had to stop eating clocks, it was too time consuming."
"Q: What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? A: ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""
"Starve a cold. Feed a fever. Humiliate a rash. Flatter a migraine. Friendzone diarrhea. Date cramps. Bring anxiety home to meet the family."
"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"
"What is the biggest danger to an ear f*cker? Hearing AIDS."