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Joke of the Day

"How are skinny jeans like a small mansion? They have no ball room."

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""WHO'S THERE?"" ""The president."" ""Well, why didn't you just say so?"" ""I did."""

"""Jess is coming over"" ""Jess who indiscriminately murders people or-"" *Gets stabbed to death* ""Yes"""

"Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white... Me: Black bread. Chef: We don't have that. Me: Racist."

"i need a hug(e amount of cash money)"

"what does the Jewish pedophile say to an elementary school kid? Hey kid, want to buy some candy?"

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things Facebook changes, the courage to change the settings I can, and the wisdom to know it won't make a difference."

"Why do Jews watch porno movies in reverse? Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back to the guy."

"it's hard to retire if you are in the tire business it seems like you have more work to do."

"Diarrhea is hereditary It runs in your genes"