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Joke of the Day

"'I've been expecting you, Mr. Bond.' - James Bond's mother giving birth"

"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"

"What do you call the butt end of a banana? The bananus"

"Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other. ""Honeydew you love me?"" asked the first. ""Yes,"" replied the second, ""but we cantaloupe."""

"Why did 10 die? He was stuck in the middle of 9/11."

"I was looking for a lighter on amazon... But they only had 112.422 matches."

"The oldest joke I know A girl with no arms or legs was sad on the beach. A man walked up and asked what was wrong. She said she'd never been fucked. He threw her in the water and said, ""Now ur fucked"""

"Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: You thought I was black? Cop: Haha. Yep. You're free to go sir"

"Surely these children should be in bed by now? - me, anytime after 4pm"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."