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Joke of the Day

"Patient: ""How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: ""Ten."" Patient: ""Ten what?"" Doctor: ""Nine..."""

"Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"If you ever get cold Just stand in the corner of a room, they're about 90 degrees."

"How do you bother somebody with OCD 3,7,9,11,13,17,19....."

"My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today."

"There was an explosion at my favorite restaurant last night. News reports say that someone ordered the ""chicken a la Hu-akbar."""

"""Brian did you remove some of the thread from your shirt logo?"" Me: [clearly enjoying people calling me the Hug Boss] what? No probably not"

"Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute? It opens on impact."

"Why the hell would I use turn signals? I know where we're going."

"A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu."