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Joke of the Day

"""OH MY GOD IS THAT GLUTEN ON THE FLOOR!?!?!"" Great way to clear the checkout lines at Whole Foods."

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"Jokes about women aren't funny... Period."
"Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own."
"You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup."
"Being a FEMALE is a matter of BIRTH, being a WOMAN is a matter of AGE, but being a LADY is a matter of CHOICE..."
"A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away"
"What do you call a black man on the moon... An Astronaut!"
"Who's a Dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet"
"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."
"It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change"
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