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Joke of the Day

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea river"

"(Pickup line) Are you a test-tube baby? Because you're perfect."

"When I was a kid we didn't add flavor to our medicine and it tasted like shit but we liked it because we liked being not dead."

"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."

"Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle."

"I found three french fries inside my $1 McDouble. Dream big, kids. Anything is possible."

"A seal walks into a club."

"I grew up poor . The end of the month was difficult money wise especially the 30 last days."

"It doesn't matter if it's fight club or book club or some other kind of club, I guarantee I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."