207336

Joke of the Day

"I didn't realize what ""Shoot the J"" meant... So naturally people explained it to me when I shouted it at the wheelchair basketball halftime show."

"Knock knock - Who's there? - Impatient cow. - Impatient co- - He already left."

"If you're drinking a Starbucks coffee while complaining about paying $4.20 a gallon for gas, you should have your license revoked."

"I was going to post a joke about radical Islam... but I feel that would be self-destructive"

"An Eskimo was driving through new Zealand His car suddenly broke down after a small wait the mechanic told him ""aw shut bro you've blown a seal"" to which the Eskimo replies ""shut up you fuck sheep"""

"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."

"What's the difference between shaving a red head's pubes and diffusing a bomb? When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire."

"My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French."

"What do you call a stoner dinosaur? A Smokealottapottapus."

"God hates fags He prefers a nice, fat, dank blunt."