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Joke of the Day

"Censorship [removed]"

"My friend asked what would get black walnut stains off of his driveway I told him to call a cheap motel. If anyone would know how to remove nut stains it would be them."

"It was nice of Apple to invent a mirror I can send emails with."

"How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor? Straight, No Chaser."

"A1 Use this punchline to create a weird, funny tone... ""Listen, we need to sit down and have a long, hard, and possibly phallic conversation."""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you have probably never heard of it."

"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper"

"I don't see dead people, but I do always see spiders that aren't really there."

"Dont't drink and drive, it's very... whisky!"

"Why can't ewoks yell in the house? Because they have to use their Endor voices."