207162

Joke of the Day

"I made my wife change her name to Dick. Now people laugh whenever I joke about beating her all day long."

"Researchers found out,... ... after someone finally opened the door."

"If you catch a Gecko by it's tail... If you catch a Gecko by it's tail, it will detach itself from it and grow a new one. A lot like Hillary's political policies."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women can't resist anything 25% off"

"Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer"

"I have an outstanding credit score and even know a dude named Tanner but I'm still not white enough to drink pumpkin beer."

"There should be an app that, in the event of your death, your phone will seek the nearest toilet & submerge itself, destroying all evidence"

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"I went on the treadmill for 30 minutes today. Tomorrow I will turn it on."

"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch the other watches your snatch."