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Joke of the Day

"Arrested at the Zoo. I got arrested at the zoo the other day for having sex with a baby gorilla. When I asked the officer what I was being charged with he responded ""Statutory Ape""."

"A gay guy wants to quit smoking... So he put a nicotine patch on both arms, now he's down to 2 butts a day."

"*slowly pulls up in a car next to you when ur walking on the sidewalk* ""why did u favorite that instead of retweeting it?"""

"What do you call a homeless pigeon? A pigeon."

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"

"What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife? A cookold."

"How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you."

"There are two types of girls; girls who are fat and girls who think they are fat."

"What is the only thing easier to break than a Razer headset? Your sister's hymen."