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Joke of the Day

"Remember that time you thought you were more important than everyone else? Turn back, this was a click wasted"

"Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials? Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights."

"Today I shot a black man and his wife It was a beautiful wedding"

"Canada is 50% ""a"""

"""Guess my nationality"" the old man said Deducing from the man's accent that he was Briish, the other man said so. ""You're correct, but where's the t?"" asked the man. ""In the harbor"""

"How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it to the couch."

"My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week"

"If you like interracial porn... ...you'll love the next 4 years. Minorities are going to be fucked constantly by an old white man."

"""Mom, I'm here to make your boobs big."" - smiling 3 yr old comes out of garage with a bike pump."

"""Go to hell"" is so abstract. ""Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months."" Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying."