2068

Joke of the Day

"If you're in college, what do you do when your flatmate has an epileptic seizure in the bathtub? ...throw in your dirty laundry."

"I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch."

"Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza"

"the only proof i have that there is a god is that one time i saw a dude in a ""Bazinga"" shirt get into a car and drive directly into a tree"

"What kind of oranges do you take on a boat? Naval oranges. I'm^so^sorry."

"Her: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! Me: Well... at least I'm not all of the shit"

"""I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish."" - People who don't get how definitions work."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amin ! Amin who ? Amin man!"

"I wonder if the Cabbage Patch Kids grew up to be bastards & whores that left their offspring in random gardens like their parents did."

"People who say that they're 'just naturally thin' are also just naturally awful."