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Joke of the Day

"It's getting Hot In Herre, so take off all your clothes! Also, drink this water because I don't want you to get dehydrated. -Nervous Nelly"

"What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD? Time"

"What's Black on top and White bottom? rape"

"Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One."

"I call my penis Valyrian Steel.... Because it slays pale, icy bitches and no one really knows how it works."

"Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?"

"""Can you spot me, bro?"" - Waldo, at the gym"

"I just dropped 15 pounds! But don't worry, I unplugged the toilet afterwards."

"Which religion breeds terrorism the most? Not Islam"

"Stevie Wonder walked into a bar He never saw it coming."