2066

Joke of the Day

"My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when I walked out of it."

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"Just tasteless A man gets the words ""I LOVE YOU"" tattooed on his crank. His wife tells him ""Quit putting words in my mouth!"""
"A frog literally just intentionally threw himself under my lawn mower I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide. I hate myself. I'm sorry."
"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""
"I was in a job interview. ""What is your biggest strength?"" ""I am always on time."" ""And your biggest weakness?"" ""I get annoyed when my dealer is late."""
"GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm... i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]"
"How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? [Click here to find out the answer.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_busy_for_hours/)"
"Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas"
"A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills."
"Bruce Wayne needs to watch his salt intake, his sodium is through the roof."