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Joke of the Day

"The difference between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee? Why does Chuck Norris have a lot of jokes but Bruce Lee doesn't? Because Bruce Lee is no joke..."

"Bring a Knife on a date? When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?"

"In shop class... student: where do you keep your nails? teacher: on my hands, where else?"

"I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting"

"Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again."

"I had a dream I was completely weightless... I was like... 0mg!"

"3 guys walk into a bar.... and the fourth guy ducks!"

"Why don't roosters wear underwear? Their peckers are on their heads."

"I used to go to church as a kid. I got so tired of having to kneel, and sit and stand-up all the time. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."