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Joke of the Day

"This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water. Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage."

"I ate a pizza. just kidding lol"

"Why is 17 called the ""mother-in-law"" in black jack? Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant."

"2 nazis walk into a bar"

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree? Camembert!"

"Police officer: what'd you take, you're sweating, shaking and going crazy.... Perp: nothing sir, just searching for The Lord!"

"How do you make a cat go woof? Paraffin and matches."

"I won't slam on my brakes if someone's tailgating me...I will, however, take my foot off the accelerator and slowly come to a stop."

"""There are only 2 four letter words that are offensive to me - Don't and Stop.....unless they are used together..."""