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Joke of the Day

"My father once told me... .... to go outside and jump on a trampoline... except I didn't hear the 'oline'"

Next Joke
 
"My wife said to me, ""Isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?"""
"The man who invented PIN numbers and ATM machines has died. May he RIP in peace."
"Officer: Do you know you have a blinker out? Me: Yes, officer. Officer: When did you plan on getting that fixed? Me: 2005"
"What do comedians put outside their house on Halloween? 'Pun-kins'"
"What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight? A sithy."
"What's the difference between a stingy neighbor and a cheap prostitute? One nickels and dimes you for screws while the other screws you for nickels and dimes."
"OBAMA: your resume says you think of the ""best nicknames?"" ME: that's right, Obama-nable snowman *finger guns* OBAMA: [softly] holy shit"
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nah, it's too cheesy."
"Is trying to sell a useless set of feelings."