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Joke of the Day

"what idiot called them crabs instead of sidewalks"

"I grilled some chicken today... What a waste of time. He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road."

"The only thing scarier than getting a call from an unknown number, is when that number doesn't leave a voicemail."

"I like my KitKat like I like my girls: Two at once."

"You're the bomb A Muslim walks into an airport wearing the flashiest clothes, he meets a friend who shouts at him you're the bomb. Everyone sets of sprinting in all directions."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts. Cause a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."

"You can even hide a dead body in Terms & Conditions, No one will ever know."

"Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind."

"Have you ever tried Nicaraguan food? They haven't."

"What's the best selling soft drink in Italy? Dr. Pepe"