206216

Joke of the Day

"They say the average person has sex 82 times a year.... ......I guess I'm going to be busy as hell for the next four days."

"Why is a toothbrush a ""tooth"" brush? Cause it was invented in Alabama! [Inspiration came from the comments](http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825?irpc=932)"

"Woman goes to the doctor... Woman goes to the doctor and says, ""Everytime I sneeze I have an orgasam."" The doctor asks, ""What have you been doing for it?"" She replies, ""Snorting pepper."""

"A friend of mine just had a penis extension. And now his house looks really stupid. -Gary Delaney"

"I used to give anal to other men... But it's all behind me now."

"Great! I just wet my pants. Now people are gonna think I spilled my drink on myself."

"Yo mama's so fat, I swerved my car to miss her and ran out of gas."

"Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value. (I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.)"

"In light of recent events... ...I believe Adrian Peterson should start playing Major League Baseball. He'd be a great *switch* hitter."

"A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says ""don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."""