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Joke of the Day

"First Obama came for my guns. Then he came for my knives. Then he came for my dinette set. Then he redecorated the whole place. It's lovely."

"A guy died from arteries clogging. The doctors' efforts were in vein."

"I have a gay friend but I never recognize him Because he is always in these guys."

"The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name."

"I tried changing my Facebook profile to the tricolour French flag.... but I preferred the traditional All White French Flag"

"An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says ""Oi! You look 'armless! 'Op in!"""

"What did NaCl go to prison for? A-salt"

"Its not what it looks like officer! ""you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync"" Ok I guess it was what it looked like"

"Sexual predators are never funny Unless Lena Dunham writes about being one."

"Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls."