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Joke of the Day

"Sexual predators are never funny Unless Lena Dunham writes about being one."

"Finally found a house! We couldn't afford it and it wasn't for sale, but we just murdered the owners and took it anyway. Happy Columbus Day!"

"Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war."

"What does a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets."

"What do jellybeans and the human race have in common Nobody likes the black ones"

"Teacher ""Hi, why are you here?"" Me ""Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?"" Teacher ""Yes and you're off to a really bad start."""

"We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco."

"No thanks, doctor's office that used to be a house."

"My favorite quote. ""Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered."" *anonymous*"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TENTACLES!"