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Joke of the Day

"Apparently my 6yo old son went to school with a Spiderman costume under his clothes. The students of Edison Elementary are safe today."

"If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again."

"Wearing sunglasses while indoors let's everyone know you have no business making even minor life decisions."

"DOG: [looking out the window] wat a beautiful mornimg! the sky is grey, the grass is grey, the birds are grey and readey to eat,"

"Who is the least guilty U.S. President? Lincoln. He's in a cent!"

"Why don't cannibals eat ex-wives? Because they're bitter."

"12: ""Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?"" Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child"

"You can learn a lot about a guy when you go through the pockets of his pants that are at his ankles in the bathroom stall next to your's."

"What if 85% of Homeless veterans are 2LTs lost on a land navigation course?"

"Doctor: I have bad news for you. You only have 10 left to live. Patient: Ten what? Doctor: Nine. Eight..."