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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I'm running away from monsters at the temple then crash into a tree and die because I wanted to collect all the gold."

"Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers."

"I don't hate you because you're beautiful... You're not..."

"I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering... I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case..."

"""Live this Friday like it was your last."" The Mayans"

"How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream."

"22 y.o. male seeks woman who will kill spiders for him. Will do sex if required, but mostly please kill spiders"

"Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof? It can't catch fire underwater... I think."

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing."

"Why are native americans the best strippers? Because when they dance they make it rain."