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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally switched the baby formula with coconut milk and now my newborn is complaining that her lullabies are ""too mainstream."""

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, with a dick so long he could suck it. As he wiped off his chin he said with a grin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

"How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car? He didn't"

"Bradley Cooper looks like a guy who's playing a ""famous actor"" in a made-for-TV movie."

"Her: Your c**k is small Me: An RV is big until you park it in the Grand Canyon."

"If someone makes you want to murder them, don't hesitate to do it. That moment you wait is the difference between 1st and 2nd degree murder."

"Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

"Grow Your Own Vegetables by Rosa Carrotts"

"Several years ago, Charlie Sheen said ""I'm Winning"" ...even now he's still remaining positive!"

"A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""