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Joke of the Day

"Wanna be like jesus, walk on a cucumber, its 98% water, so you're 98% jesus"

"How many blood hungry vampires does it take to dress a wound? The answer's irrelevant as they all suck at it anyway."

"A Girl In London Two men in a bar. One says ""A girl I met in London gave me a sexually transmitted disease"". His mate replies ""you were lucky, in Yorkshire you would have had to pay for it!"""

"The subject line starts ""Fwd: Re: Fwd: RE: RE: Re: "", so there's no way this isn't a complete waste of time."

"BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants."

"Why I need feminism A guy once told me that he disagreed with me. This is why I need feminism. He shoudn't be allowed to say that."

"Cop: ""Can you describe the person who robbed you?"" Me: ""He had on a black shirt and hat with a green apron and charged me $6 for coffee"""

"What do baby swans dance to ? Cygnet-ure-tunes !"

"Need your best Short Jokes One sentence max, I'll start: A Dyslexic walks into a bra"

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."