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Joke of the Day

"My phone autocorrects 'sex' into 'pez' in case you were wondering just how dead my pez life is."

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"A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified."
"Get all the protein you can before you die because there's no whey in Hell"
"What's the difference between Australia and yogurt? At least if you leave yogurt alone for a while it develops a culture."
"My father never told me why he removed the last page of my comics. I drew my own conclusions."
"What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it."
"I don't want to die a virgin... ... it would really confuse my kids."
"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two pigs playing in the mud"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away for North Korea's long range missiles."
"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"