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Joke of the Day

"If I were a Scooby Doo villain, I'd take the whole thing to court. How hard can it be to overturn the testimony of 4 kids who talk to a dog?"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."

"My friend said he had 10 times more chicks than me Well 10 x 0 is 0."

"I would like to be an ice cream man It would be a cool job"

"What do you get when you cross Rogaine with Viagra? Don King"

"*arrives in hell* *Hey Ya starts playing* haha nice love this song *song ends* ... *Hey Ya starts playing* wait no"

"I saw a Craigslist ad the other day. It said looking to trade: Banana for scale"

"Do you suppose there was much disagreement over what to call the Honda Accord?"

"I caught my wife in bed with another man, I was crushed... So I said, ""Get off me you two!"""

"Sluts should be called ""Humpty Dumpty"" because first they get humped then they get dumped."