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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that's how the fight started."

"Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash? Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess."

"You can tell which side of your pillow is the cool side because it's the one smoking a cigarette."

"When Dracula went to the blood bank, he said: ""Do you deliver?"""

"What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!"

"My wife told me she was going to leave me because of my obsession with The Monkees, at first I didn't believe her... ...But then I saw her face."

"Fallout 4 doesnt come out in japan till december 17th.. Which is fair, because they got the original fallout about 60 years before us."

"Two gay cowboys: ""Y'up?"" ""Yup."""

"It seems Caitlyn Jenner has made her final transition into a woman..By driving like one."

"I lost a finger in an accident today. It sucks but on the other hand... I still have all five."