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Joke of the Day

"Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash? Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid to have a lentil on me."

"A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says ""youre going to hell"". The bum yells ""Damn, Im on the wrong bus"" ! :D"

"What is Mexico's national sport? Cross country"

"My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere."

"Why is Ashley Maddison the best hook up site on the Internet? Because everyone got fucked."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy bear."

"I was at Morrisons earlier and the cashier asked a foreign couple if they needed help packing. I thought ""Fuck me, this is getting serious"""

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff!!!"

"I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far. He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet."