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Joke of the Day

"the dead are the best people to not show respect to. suck it, anonymous author of the epic of gilgamesh. I can run& breathe. your just bones"

"A set of jumper cables walks into a pub...... And the barman says, ""You can come in here mate but don't start anything! """

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."

"Snoo VS Reddit Stalker More like... ***Alien VS Predator...*** **/o\**"

"What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus? I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)"

"There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars."

"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"

"Love is grand Divorce is a HUNDRED grand..."

"Knock-knock... ""Knock-knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Control Freak - now you say 'Control Freak who?'"" :)"

"TIL that there is an animal with an asshole on its back A Police Horse"