204617

Joke of the Day

"Watched 'Man of Steel' in Spanish for 7 minutes before realizing something was off."

"Arguing on the Internet is like sex with a goat No matter how good your performance, everyone else now thinks less of you."

"I was hanging out with some lesbians... Yes, I do have a penis. But don't worry, I won't hold it against you."

"I spent all day replacing the muffler on my car It was exhausting"

"My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this."

"After the Titanic sank, rich people got their revenge by spending the last hundred years melting all the icebergs."

"HIM: My new girlfriend's name is ""Bella"". That means ""Beautiful"" in Italian. ME: It also means ""War"" in Latin...so good luck with that."

"There is 3 types of people in this world... People who are good at maths, and people who aren't."

"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."

"Another grandfather joke This was my grandfather's favorite, since we're doing this now: What happened when the man lost his suspenders? He became one of those For Whom the Belt Holds"