111699

Joke of the Day

"After the Titanic sank, rich people got their revenge by spending the last hundred years melting all the icebergs."

"One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day."

"It's not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick."

"What do you say if your mom sees you having sex? You say: Look mom, no hands!"

"Two tomatoes cross the street Two tomatoes cross the street. One of the tomatoes gets hit by a car, and the other tomatoe goes ""Aw, come on... Catch up!"""

"My new dentist asked me if I gag easily. ""No, I'm a professional,"" probably wasn't the answer he expected."

"I own a gossipy parrot... which really says a lot about me."

"If Apple has taught me anything, it's wait to see the ""Steve Jobs"" movie until they release a second version."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably one, but I can easily pay two to get the job done together at the same price I'd pay any other repair man."

"Why were Ru Paul and Buffalo Bill at the park? They were at a Tucker family reunion."