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Joke of the Day

"If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now."

"Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant"

"There is 3 types of people in this world... People who are good at maths, and people who aren't."

"There are so many animal nudes on the internet. I mean, its not even regulated. Literally almost every animal picture is naked."

"We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts"

"How much will a pirate charge you for a piercing? Buckaneer"

"So Scooby Doo mixes Ruthenium Hydrogen together with alcohol.. RuH-ROH."

"The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn."

"Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare."

"Apparently ""You probably don't hear this a lot, but I think you're quite attractive"" isn't a very good pickup line."