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Joke of the Day

"Me: *cleans kitchen and does laundry Wife: looks like someone is getting lucky Me: 1 hour of uninterrupted Call of Duty? W: Yes Me: WOOHOO!"

"What's Nu? Frequency."

"How many Jews can fit in a shower? Don't ask me, ask Hitler"

"Who is Bobby Long? and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him."

"Don't believe everything. Did you know that 78% of all people believe any shit they read online?"

"Hug a terrorist Only 30% of people have hugged the person they're going out with."

"I just saw an 8 year old hipster. Your move, apocalypse."

"When you tell Optimus Prime a joke, what do you hear? Vehicular man's laughter"

"Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly? Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody"

"So I tried coprophilia for the first time today. It's fucking shit."