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Joke of the Day

"I hope puns are okay. If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air."

"At the last supper Jesus was probably like it would be way more comfortable for everyone if some of you sat on the other side of the table"

"No matter how tired one is, put a computer in front of them and they can stay awake."

"Men don't ignore us; they have selective hearing. Give them instructions for roasted turkey & they'll remember ""breast, thighs, moist & hot"""

"What do you call a pig... ...with an unusually high IQ? Einswine"

"I see dead people."

"I killed a girl who posted too many selfies.I think i can claim selfie-defence."

"The first Hobbit movie was half the book. The second, about a quarter. In the sixth instalment, the group has a 3 hour breakfast and a nap."

"X-post from /r/christianity t"

"A neckbeard is talking to his friend about his trip to the doctor. He said they found a tumor, it's... M'lignant"