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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, changing your profile to ""Flirty, dirty and a little squirty"" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle."

"Just used shampoo so fortifying that a giant brick wall manifested around me in the shower & I guess this is my home now."

"What do French people call a bad Thursday? A trajeudi. I'll escort myself out now....."

"I knew the guy who invented the clothes iron. Unfortunately, he died from being ironed on the face. I still remember the iron-y smell of his blood."

"[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is? Because his watch has ended."

"What do you call a car full of nuns? Virgin Mobile"

"What do Donald Trump and JFK have in common? Nothing.. Yet."

"What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets? Tally Hoes"

"A nurse goes to the bank As she is about to sign her name on the deposit slip she pulls out a rectul thermometer, ""awww crap some asshole has my pen."""

"Waiting for the day when parents finally admit that their kid is in fact ugly instead of thinking they have the most beautiful kid ever."