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Joke of the Day
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A brick to the back of his head should do it."
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and kept in the freezer."
"A blind man walks into a bar I'll have a glass of wine, he says. Red or white, the bartender asks. It doesn't matter, he answers, I'm blind."
"How to live forever? Hire a project manager to plan your death."
"Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober."
"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."
"Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's? They didn't speak sine language."
"Found the battery for your mom's dildo. http://imgur.com/XBmHG7I. C size for scale."
"How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father"
"I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen."